How many of you were completely blind-sided by iconic, beloved Anthony Bourdain’s tragic outcome? His advice, “Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind” offers such profound advice about life.

Last year in early June, I, too succumbed to complete and utter disbelief at the news of Bourdain’s passing. Now, a little over a year later, I still struggle with accepting the sheer fact that this giant of a man, the person I deemed as a complete travel role model and warrior, decided to take his own life in a Parisian hotel room.

Today, June 25th on what would have been his 63rd birthday, I salute AB’s light in a dark world and use his legacy as an ever-present reminder that we’re all deeply connected through our stories, our paths and our history. It’s the intersectionality of our existences that truly allow us to travel to different places and immediately feel connected to the food, music, culture, people, histories, and struggles of human existence.

Consider today’s blog as a bridge to link and connect us all together, not only to honor Bourdain’s brilliance and his impact on the world but in bridging us together in the plight for mental health advocacy. Don’t worry, there are no tolls on this bridge, though. In sum, today’s blog isn’t intended to diminish travel since it’s still so vital for us on so many levels, but I want to urge us to embrace our daily journeys in a mindful manner to conquer within. This means that you are not merely just engaging in the act of booking a flight to the Maldives, Macau, Malta, or Martinique, but instead you are setting out with the intention of deriving a purpose from the experience that can be applied to your everyday life. No more wander-lusting the superficial and very temporary feelings of mindfulness and peace, but it’s something that becomes inherent to your human existence!

ab pic.jpg — "He taught us about food — but more importantly, about its ability to bring us together. To make us a little less afraid of the unknown. We'll miss him."

-Former U.S. President Barack Obama

Rewind: How My Fan Girl Fanaticism with Anthony Bourdain Emerged

First, I want to briefly overview how I developed my fan girl fanaticism with Anthony Bourdain. As an avid traveler, my two favorite shows have long been Delicious Destinations with Andrew Zimmerman and you guessed it, Parts Unknown with Anthony Bourdain . Both speak to the foodie within me that’s absolutely undeniable, and my palette can out taste you any day. Take that Gordon Ramsey and Sunny Anderson! However, the latter of the two, Parts Unknown, also spoke to more than just the excitement of my senses; it was as if I watched every episode with a deep sense of purpose. Episodes that left me feeling that there was much more depth to my travels than I realized and that I held a responsibility to leave this world better than it was when I found it.

Therefore, the debut of my blog today is both a tribute and a memorial to one of my travel inspirations, and one of the most authentic storytellers of our time; but it is also a call to action for us to stop ignoring the signs and signals of mental health. When you discern that something’s wrong within, essentially “check yourself before you wreck yourself,” and replace the stigmas with the idea that mental health is sexy. Self-care is sexy. Going to therapy is sexy! Let’s bring sexy back but in mental health without JT’s dance moves and voice!

You’ve Got Mail: Open Letter To Those Who May Be Suffering in Silence

Next, think of my blog as an open letter to all of those who may be suffering in silence. To those who may appear to have it altogether, all figured out, but in their quiet moments are lost and desperately seeking their identity. We live in a social media-driven society whereas it’s popular to post the highlight reel of our stories, rather than our true disappointments, failures and realities. This ultimately leads to an inward decision to create an outward façade of how we’d like to be seen by the world, rather than how we’re authentically living inside. Open that envelope, ya’ll, because you’ve got mail!

Usurping the Travel As Escape Myths

In addition to this call to action, I want to dissect the travel as an escape myth. I want to dissect the idyllic notion perpetuated on social media that living this so called “travel lifestyle” will ultimately lead you to some utopic life destination where everything is rainbows and roses. Yes, Khardashians in Bali pics, we see you! After having traveled to nearly 30 countries, I attest from personal experience that this myth isn’t reality.

For example, reflecting back to 2008, when I had just loss my Dad and fell into a deep, dark depression, I actually contemplated suicide. I’m so grateful for my sister who at the time was the only one who knew. If it had not been for that emergency call made to her from the bedroom of my Chicago apartment, I’m not at all certain that I would be in this moment with you right now. She (without my knowledge) called my mother on 3-way, and they both talked me off the ledge, literally and figuratively.

Coupled with walking away from Christianity, being homeless and having had to sleep on a few friend’s couches over the course of about six months, I hoped for a future that would allow me to escape this grim reality. My answer to that was to travel. I began to pray that I could see the world and have the financial resources to do so. Yet after every trip, whether near or far, it seemed that as soon as my flight touched down back in Chicago or New Orleans, I was overcome with a deep sadness, the same despair that I had felt before I had left my reality. Like an addictive cycle, I was prompted after every trip to begin thinking and planning my next destination and adventure, hoping that it’d lift me from my slump and deep abyss.

Notion of Home for Holistic and Mental Health

How many of you can’t stop bawling (yes, dudes included) when you hear Diana Ross’s “Home” from The Wiz? Well, this song could be my anthem today because I want you to understand that while travel can be and is one of the greatest experiences and teachers you’ll ever have, it’s simply just a means to an end. In reality, it’s not a placeholder for living a happy life, but instead merely a drop in the bucket through this experience we call life. Not any single destination and I don’t care where it is, can allow you to achieve full happiness all on its own or at least not for the entirety of your life; but it should be used as a tool and as education to broaden your horizons and inspire the life you live everyday at home. Home is where you spend most of your time, so why not make it more meaningful? The Wiz is so damn wise, and I don’t mean Wiz Khalifa!

Trippin: Tips from Trips To Live By

Are you ready to get trippin with some tips to live by that I’ve acquired from travel? As a woman who sometimes still gets angst at the idea that a really good trip is coming to an end, I did some introspective work to identify the root causes to the sudden rush of emotions. Do I actually like where I am? Do I love who I am? How do I feel about my career? Do I have relationships in my life that are healthy? What feelings and emotions do my environment reinforce or trigger? These are all questions to ask yourself after travel and also during regular life on your daily grind and staycations. Based on the answers, begin to do the work to ensure that you’re also building a meaningful, balanced life that you love at home, not just one filled with the bells and whistles of a good Instagram post. Like me, you can build a life that you’re no longer running from, but one you’re actually running towards, eager to take the bull by the horns. Yes, I’m still dreaming of Spain!

From Bourdain to the Bottom Line:

While Bourdain is likely now in his heavenly home, I encourage you to not be ashamed of the stigmas of mental health and don’t be too prideful or ashamed to seek help. I believe therapy is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and something that everyone can benefit from, regardless of your past, current, or future psychological state.

Check out my other bottom line suggestions in honor of Anthony and all the others who are in desperate need of a loving hand:

1. Call Me Maybe: Forget the maybe and annoying song by the same title. If you or someone you know has thoughts of suicide, seek help immediately by calling The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit their website to learn more. Check out the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) for more information on warning signs, mental health conditions and stats.

2. Go to a Pro: Get a therapist. Therapy is a form of self-care, too. If you had a broken bone, wouldn’t you seek treatment ASAP? Well, when you have a broken heart or are unable to cope with and manage your emotions, see a therapist. Your mental health is equally as important as your physical health. One of my go to resources is Psychology Today that provides a listing of verified therapists in your area.

3. Work It: If you’re a working adult, there’s a good chance that your company/organization has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). If you’re uncertain whether your company offers one, contact your Human Resources Manager today. Use it because it’s a free resource for you as an employee. Who doesn’t love a freebie?

4. Write Stuff: If you’re a traveler or have a desire to travel more, spend some time journaling about why you travel and note how you feel as the trip is coming to an end or once you’ve returned home to your normal routine.

5. Don’t Keep Up With the Kardashians: Stop coveting the lives of others on social media. It’s one thing to be inspired, but don’t wish that you were in their shoes. You have no idea where they’ve been, what they had to go through, and what they yet to have experienced.

6. Jesus Take the Wheel: My faith in God and spirituality serve as one of the main driving forces for coping with loss and depression. Get in touch with your religious/spiritual roots and know there’s immense power in prayer! "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16

7. It’s the Climb: While Nicki Minaj is clearly not a fan of Miley’s, “The Climb” lyrics are actually true: we all experience moments of sadness, grief, and disappointment. It’s all a part of the human experience that we cannot avoid. EVERYONE experiences it. Embrace the climb!

8. Self-Check: Be aware of where you are. Be honest with yourself even if you aren’t honest with anyone else.

Conquer Within: A Conclusion and Tribute

The fact that I’ll never have an opportunity to personally meet Mr. Anthony Bourdain brings me immense sadness, but I find solace in knowing that he served as a source of inspiration for this little Black girl from New Orleans, who dreamt of travelling the world never really knowing if she ever would. Through his lens and storytelling, he allowed me to see what’s possible in my life, but also that every person and place has a story. The pictures displayed on this post of Bourdain, particularly the one in Machu Picchu, resonated with me. It’s amazing how we as people can travel entirely different paths, but somehow still reach the same destination. To have the opportunity to retrace some of his steps in my own quest for self-discovery is a very humbling feeling. The shirt that I am wearing says, “Conquer within,” and that’s exactly what I’m encouraging you all to do today!

Thank you for reading and remember that wherever you’re travelling to next, the trip is more about your journey than the destination! I’m so blessed that we took this journey together as we learn to conquer within! In sum, I’ll leave you with these final words that Tony once said: “Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life – and travel – leaves marks on you.” Happy Heavenly Birthday AB!

How will you leave your mark on this Earth and mankind, my friends?

Details and tips about my travels in this post:

· Location: Peru, South America

· Highlight: Machu Picchu, one of the ‘New Seven Wonders of the World’

· Travel Tip: Wear comfortable shoes when visiting, especially during the rainy season.

Comment below one way that you plan to “conquer within” this week. I’m here to listen and learn as well.

Conquering Within: Why Travelling the World Won’t Always Dodge Your Problems or Foster Long-Term Happiness